I felt terrible after I disconnect myself from the internet for 2 hours. After reading a book, my thoughts told me to be more productive even if I just did. I was playing a video game, and my for some reason I felt like like a loser, which discourage my self to play a game or watch a tv show. All I think of is learning and studying, and whenever I do something outside of that, I felt the guilt that I'm wasting my time and I should continue to study more. I'm not even at school/college, I'm just learning Japanese.
I can't be fucking happy without reminding me that I shouldn't enjoy things.
Thetageist
I hear you. I used to feel that way a lot too.
Personally, what helped me is recognizing that taking care of myself emotionally isn’t a waste of time, because it allows me to be more effective at other things. More work gets done, and more effectively, when I’m not breaking down inside. It might not work for you, but just know that I understand.